El ingenioso hidalgo don Orgut de la NTNU

Jeg observerer at ORGUTs ledelse har kommet til erkjennelse av at en oppstramming av professorene er nødvendig for at fremtidens markedsorienterte universitet skal kunne fungere. Ja, det er på tide at professorenes tendens til å flagre rundt i alle mulige faglige retninger stoppes: de må sannelig læres opp til å servere IT-Burgere på en rask og effektiv måte.

Jeg observerer også at utspillet med å få professorene til å marsjere i takt virker: aldri har vel professorene på Dragvoll og Gløshaugen reagert så unisont som nettopp i denne sak.

Ja, selv Cervantes har skrevet et bidrag, og med hans posthume godkjennelse tillater jeg meg å sitere fra «El ingenioso hidalgo don ORGUT de la NTNU».

At this point they came in sight of three or four hundred professors that are on that plain.

«Fortune,» said Don Quixote to his squire, as soon as he had seen them, «is arranging matters for us better than we could have hoped. Look there, friend Sancho Panza, where three hundred or more monstrous giants rise up, all of whom I mean to engage in battle and slay, and with whose spoils we shall begin to make our fortunes. For this is righteous warfare, and it is God's good service to sweep so evil a breed from off the face of the earth.»

«What giants?» said Sancho Panza.

«Those you see there,» answered his master, «with the long arms, and some have them nearly two leagues long.»

«Look, your wor-ship,» said Sancho. «What we see there are not giants but professors, and what seem to be their arms are the brains that turned by loyalty make the university go.»

«It is easy to see,» replied Don Quixote, «that you are not used to this business of adventures. Those are giants, and if you are afraid, away with you out of here and betake yourself to prayer, while I engage them in fierce and unequal combat.»

So saying, he gave the spur to his steed Rocinante, heedless of the cries his squire Sancho sent after him, warning him that most certainly they were professors and not giants he was going to attack. He, however, was so positive they were giants that he neither heard the cries of Sancho, nor perceived, near as he was, what they were.

«Fly not, cowards and vile beings,» he shouted, «for a single knight attacks you.»

A slight breeze at this moment sprang up, and the great majority of professors began to move.

«Though ye flourish more arms than the giant Briareus, ye have to reckon with me!» exclaimed Don Quixote, when he saw this.

So saying, he commended himself with all his heart to his lady Dulcinea, imploring her to support him in such a peril. With lance braced and covered by his shield, he charged at Rocinante's fullest gallop and attacked the first professors that stood in front of him. But as he drove his lance-point into their academic freedom, the wind whirled them around with such force that it shivered the lance to pieces. It swept away with it horse and rider, and they were sent rolling over the plain, in sad condition indeed.

Lars O. Svaasand

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